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Why Dating During Divorce Is A Bad Idea


A divorce is a stressful time emotionally, mentally, and financially. You may be tempted to jump back into dating during divorce; however, getting back into the dating game can also come with legal, financial and other consequences.

So before you set up your dating profile and download dating apps, you need to understand the real-life consequences of it.

This article will tell you the top reasons why you want to avoid dating during a divorce and some of the consequences if you do

Top Reasons Why Dating During A Divorce Is A Bad Idea

Dating and divorce can both be stressful and messy, with a wide range of emotions. Simultaneously doing both is a terrible idea and a recipe for disaster. You can quickly end up with consequences that significantly impact your divorce and your life.

1. Your Divorce May Be Drawn Out

You may be ready to start connecting with somebody new however your spouse may feel differently about you moving on so quickly.

While they may have agreed to divorce, they may not be ready to add new people into the dynamic, which can bring up resentment and anger. Usually, when someone feels angry and resentful, they are generally not cooperative. If your spouse decides to drag their feet and draw out the case longer or contest the divorce, if only to make your life harder, they can.

2. Your Divorce Settlement May Be At Risk

There is Alabama case law that, arguably, suggests that dating during your divorce can be considered adultery. Many states like Alabama still consider adultery grounds for divorce, which can help your spouse build a case for a fault-based divorce against you as an adulterer. 

If your spouse can create enough doubt that you are using community funds to pay for dates or purchase gifts for a lover, you may be required to reimburse the money, or your spouse might get a larger settlement. Even if it were not technically adultery, your behavior could persuade the court in favor of your spouse.

Keep in mind that your dating activity during your divorce is discoverable. If your spouse asks about it via discovery, you will have to answer truthfully. 

3. It Is Too Early For Your Children

Divorce is stressful for everyone, and if you have children, then divorce can be even more emotionally stressful and challenging. Often, your children may still be processing and transitioning through the changes that divorce brings, and adding dating someone new during the divorce doesn’t make it easier.

Your children may even be hoping their parents might work things out. If you bring home a new partner, they may feel like you are trying to replace the other parent. They may even try to blame the new partner for the divorce, which can affect how they view you and your new lover.

Dating during the divorce can also affect your children’s mental health, so make sure to spend quality time with your kids when they struggle and navigate this new territory. Talking to your children about your divorce is essential to help them deal with their feelings.

4. Dating Can Complicate Child Custody, And Co-Parenting Arrangements

Dating during a divorce can influence how amicable your spouse is about child custody and co-parenting. Your spouse might decide not to accept any co-parenting or child support arrangement you suggest or even fight for full custody. Also, if your spouse has concerns about who you are dating and who spends time around your children, it can further complicate your divorce.

5. Your Divorce May End Up Costing More

If you decide to date during your divorce and the divorce process gets drawn out, it can easily cost you more attorney and legal fees. If your spouse opts to pursue a larger divorce settlement on the grounds of adultery, you will be out even more money.

6. Your Time To Heal Will Be Affected

Whether you and your spouse were married for fifteen years or five years, the effects of divorce are often similar to death. Many people who go through divorce experience grief stages, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Time to heal and grieve is essential to your mental and emotional health.

When you date during divorce, it disrupts your grieving process and doesn’t always leave space for you to feel the full range of grief. Seeing how dating impacts your healing process may be challenging, especially when you get caught up in your feelings and experiences with a new lover. Dating during divorce can also limit your emotional growth and prevent you from completely recovering from your divorce.

7. Your New Found Love May End Up Resenting You

Even if you are open about your situation from the beginning, dating during a divorce can put a lot of added strain on a new partner and your new relationship.

Emotions common during divorces, like anger, resentment, stress, and sadness, can affect your new partner, especially if they are an emotional crutch for you.

Unfortunately, sometimes new partners take the brunt of the divorce. 

  • Your spouse may lash out in anger or jealousy
  • Your new partner may feel as though you aren’t able to be present with them or give enough of your time and energy to the relationship
  • Sometimes new partners become jealous because of your relationship or regular communication with your former partner
  • Your family or friends may judge you or hold your new lover accountable for the break-up and act harshly toward them

8. Friends and Family Can Turn Against You

If you move quickly and begin dating during your divorce, some friends and family members might be supportive. However, others may feel you moved on too quickly and turn against you and your newfound love. People sometimes feel the need to choose a side during a divorce, and if you decide to date, it could influence your friends and family, putting them in a very uncomfortable position.

For Expert Help With Your Divorce, Call Brackin Law Firm

At Brackin Law Firm, we have the experience to navigate the complex legal system of family court in Alabama. We offer comprehensive legal care and representation to meet your needs and unique situation, with over 40 years of experience resolving conflicts peacefully through negotiation or mediation. If your case ends up in court, we will fight for you. Contact us today for the best divorce lawyer in Alabama.

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